Drive-by

Renewed in the same Garden

I've moved recently and if you know anything about me, you know I use my GPS to get every where. It helps me because I tend to enjoy the scenery a little too much but eventually the scenery helps me to know my way around. Now, that I've moved, I have been focusing on looking around to see what's in the area. Everyday, I drive by this one small business on the corner of a busy street and everyday I am reminded of my past. It's funny though because no matter where I have lived; I have always lived around places that remind me of my personal sin. It's not that I didn't know the world is a place full of sin but what I realized was that everyday for the past year I have driven by places that bring up memories. Everyday I am reminded of who I was, who God is, and who Satan is. This morning was no different but this time the Holy Spirit put on my heart to really dive into what happens when this drive-by happens.

My daily drive-by of the enemy's "playground"

You are probably wondering "well, what is it that you drive-by?" I'm gonna get there I promise but first I want to start in the beginning. When I first moved to Georgia for school, I was no where near being a Christian. I wanted nothing to do with spirits and religions. All I wanted to do was party, play soccer, and hopefully pass my classes (I did almost all three of those). In February 2020, (timeline reference I went to college in 2018) I became a Christian. There's a lot that happened in between August of 2018 to February of 2020. There was a lot of places that held temptation, bad memories, sadness, and just downright disgust. In March of 2020, I went back home due to Covid and was able to spend much needed time with God. 6 months later, I found myself back in Carrollton, GA in the same apartment complex and driving by the same places I had been for 2 years. I hated it. (I know hate is a strong word butI really disliked it.) Here I was renewed and restored in christ having to drive-by and live in the same places I was saved from. I was tempted everyday to just go back to my old ways. I would see my friends out on the town and even one of the bouncers wondered where I had go. Most people said it was like I died. (if you think about it.. I kinda did but thats another discussion for another time) From about May to August, I spent time in different places which meant driving by different things. Still every drive, there was a "playground". Eventually, I moved out and into another complex 10 mins down the road from my old apartment. I was still driving by all of the same things but at least I was out of the old apartment complex. I was there for about 6 months or less when I moved to where I am now. January 2022, in a different county but somehow I still drive-by the enemy's "playgrounds". (if you haven't figured out yet that playground doesn't actually mean a playground... well now you know) At this point, you would think I would be pretty upset and tired of seeing these "playgrounds". You would be correct. I am tired and upset but I also understand I am never going to stop seeing the enemy's "playgrounds". Why? Because I know that for the rest of my life the enemy will try to tempt me so that I fall from my calling. (uh oh i'm using some big spiritual words here so let me explain a bit: "Calling is a word that has been used to name a deep attraction to a particular vocation, type of work, course of action, or life path." I got that from the web by the way but it explains it pretty well in a lets not get too spiritual way.) I know that I have to learn how to fight temptation and rely on the Holy Spirit when I drive-by these places.

The new "playground" on the corner

I said before that I would talk about the new "playground" - the small business on the corner - that I drive-by everyday now. Honestly, that business is the sole reason why I am writing this blog and came to realize all of these things. The small business on the corner that I drive-by everyday is a Tarot card reading place. I don't know the excat name or if they even have one but I do know that they have a huge purple sign that says all of these things. Now, if you are one of the few people who I have shared this part of my testimony with or if you were around when I was going through this phase then you know why this brings up memories. You would think that it would be a bar or something like that but thank God that I have walked through the healing of those places. This place though, this place is a place that I rarely like to talk about. At first there was shame and guilt that I had even participated in something so against God. However, now I don't feel much shame or guilt but more so just disgust at myself. I don't want to think of the times I relied on cards and spirits to tell me about people, the future, or myself. Don't get me wrong, I know I am forgiven by God through Christ but there is just somethings in your testimony that just make you cringe at the thought of you actually doing that. (I know i'm not the only one..) So everyday I drive-by this purple "playground" of bad memories and heartbreak.

The detour

Now, this small business is on the route I take the most because it's the route that is quickest. However, there is another route in the opposite dierction that would skip seeing this building. I take that route at night when I get off late from work but in the day I normally take the main route past the building. As I was thinking of the building and how the enemy is trying to get to me through my past. (because he will definitely try to use your past against you) I realized even though the route pass the building brings up things for me, I would still chose to go that way over the easier route. Why? Honestly, the only reason is because I want to remember who I was. My past doesn't define me; it opens doors for me. When I allow God to enter those places in my heart, God turns those places into gardens of ministry. So that's why I chose to drive-by the small business on the corner. I chose to allow God into the uncomfortable parts of my testimony (even the parts very few people know about). Let's be real, the enemy would love nothing more than to convince me to take a detour. The enemy wants me to be so uncomfortable with my past that I would do anything to not talk, think, or look at it. But God calls me to the uncomfortable in a different way. The enemy wants you to be uncomfortable and filled with shame. God wants you to be uncomfortable and filled with his Spirit. It was a hard thing to grasp and maybe it doesn't make sense when you read it but I constantly grow in my dependency on the Lord every-time I drive-by my past.

What did this all mean?

I wrote this in hopes that someone would be reminded of the love God has for them esepecially when the enemy brings up the past. I know it can be hard to lean into God's truth about you when the enemy takes every chance he can get to remind you of your sins. I know the enemy can be convincing with his words when he tells us we are unworthy or unloved. I know it can be hard to separate yourself from who you use to be when you still live very close to everything you used to do. But I also know that God has transformed places in my heart from hubs of bad memories to places of ministry. I have seen God use my story to shine light into someone's current life. I have seen people overcome and triumph over the enemy's attempts to lure them into familiar sin. I once watched a sermon by Pastor Steven F. where he said, "Don't depend on people to tell you who you are and don't depend on your eyes to tell you what's happening..." he later said, "if you sit with Jesus, you will see with Jesus...." I pray that you and me can continue to sit with Jesus in the places that the enemy tries to harm us with. I pray that we are able to see graveyards as gardens and minister to those who are falling to the very sin we have overcame. I encourage you this week to think about a place that the enemy is constantly reminding you of who you used to be and invite Jesus to sit with you in that place (now i'm not telling you that you have to go physical sit in the place but invite Jesus to sit with you in your thoughts about that place). Most of all, know that no matter your life story every tesimony matters to God and God wants to use you to grow his kingdom!